You heard it here first: It’s only a matter of time before they send hot moms out into the wilderness with nothing but an oversized glass of rosé to fend for themselves. I wish I could believe reality TV hit rock bottom with TLC’s latest atrocity MILF Manor, but unfortunately the crass crevasse appears bottomless. Hey, why not make these ladies bottomless? It will be great for ratings.
Now I’ve been out of the reality loop for some time because shows have gotten so ridiculous, but this particular premise hit me like a truck full of dildos. I’m a huge 30 Rock fan, and one of my favorite episodes is titled “MILF Island” from season two (2008). It parodies reality TV by promoting a fictional show of the same name that describes itself as "25 Super-Hot Moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules."
Flash forward 15 years and you have the “real” reality show MILF Manor airing on TLC starring eight pairs of mothers and sons traveling to a villa in Mexico to look for love. I threw up in my mouth a bit just typing that. And I will swallow that vomit as I add that each mother-son pair shares a room, and the 16 contestants are pursuing each other.
What happened to the true story of seven strangers picked to live in a house? I miss Puck.
This week, I’m introducing a new segment “Just the Tips” — full of sage life advice from yours truly. Need a sounding board? Message me with your quandary and it may appear in the next Tips (like Andrew Zimmern’s Ask Me Anything minus the expertise.) This will rotate with another segment “My Fancy” where I share products, ideas, stories, observations, and anything else that tickles me.
Just the Tips
If you want to see a Starbucks barista go from cheery to go-fuck-yourself, ask them for the store’s bathroom code four times in two minutes.
Need to feel better about your parenting? Subscribe to Quora. While you’re trying to decide if you sent your kid to the right school, other parents are asking:
My six year old keeps calling me 'useless'. It's very upsetting. I've started calling her useless but she still does it. How can I make her stop?
Hey y’all, I took my sons bed priviledges away and he now sleeps on the floor. I did this because he wasn’t telling me about his everyday life. He is 17 and I figured I should teach him now before I send him out of the house at 18. What do I do now?
My 16-year-old son reads comics and sleeps all day and doing nothing else. How can I tell him that he's adopted?
You don’t have to be retired or 50 to join AARP. While that’s their focus, anyone can join and take advantage of their discounts. I use my AARP rate all the time, especially for car rentals. This tip was actually useful. (You’re welcome.)